when self-confidence goes downhill
7:55 AM
Wow, how long has it been since I last posted here? It's been.. months, eh? I notice how whenever I post in this blog (seeing that it is private, it serves as my secret diary) I'd always be complaining or being emotional over some issue and more often than not it'd be me and my self-insecurities.Sometimes I wonder why I can't be the person who's never afraid to take risks, the person who can do whatever she wants well without getting held back by her own fears. It's honestly scarring (yes, scarring not scaring) me at how I feel so low about myself. Why can't I have the self-confidence that I wish to have so much? It's my fault, I know but.. have you ever felt questioning yourself over and over again about things?
So lately I've been experiencing depression because of my grades - they're absolutely not low, they're high, in fact but my perfectionist self is just.. so disappointing. Why do I always feel like I have to be perfect all the time? It's so fucking wrong yet why can't I change my mindset on it - that's what's annoying.
It's the inferiority complex, I tell you. Whenever I see something better I always compare myself and even if I don't want it, I couldn't help my self. I get discouraged instead =_____= I want to cry, seriously.
I SHOULD AVOID COMPARING NO? I SHOULD BELIEVE IN MYSELF MORE. YES I CAN DO THISSSS!
..and I should really put more effort in what I do, I feel like I've been slacking a lot. Oh wait, I don't feel like, I really am slacking sobbb
♣ Kitari here~ I'm a pretty much random girl and is an avid fan of kpop and it's idols - I can't stop it, it's an addiction. Welcome to my personal blog about my escapades and venturings into my multifandoms <3 CAUTION: I tend to blab and fangirl around too much, if you haven't noticed. ^^
LEE SUNGMIN ♥
He is like, my dream guy. My most favorite member of Super Junior which btw, is my favorite boy band. xD I love how talented he is and he serves as my inspiration :3 King of aegyo, ftw!
KYUMIN * 137 ♥
I ship these two a whole whole lot. My obsession is as clear as the Sapphire Blue sea, KYUMIN is forever in my heart (:
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